Thanks to Havi for the concept, and some of the tools, and a fair bit of the language...
Thing 1: clearer boundaries.
I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries, about expectations and capacity, about space and time and energy and how to allocate it. About how to decide where the limits are. And how to communicate them.
And how I am entitled to have them but have been very bad at setting them, or communicating them, or defending them, or honouring them.
So I’m asking for the things I need to present themselves so I can do this better: time, space, practices, resources.
I commit to being mindful and aware.
And playful.
To remembering that these boundaries exist in and of themselves and don’t require any effort from me for them to exist, they just do. I am a sovereign being, so are the people and projects around me.
I commit to exploring them so that I can better understand where and how they exist, what helps me remember and honour them, and what happens to me, people and projects around me and my energy when they’re breached or fuzzy.
Thing 2: courage and trust in the face of conflict.
The number one reason I’ve been bad at defining, acknowledging and communicating my boundaries is because I am afraid of conflict. No, I am afraif of the CONSEQUENCES of conflict. Banishment to the outer edges of the galaxy figuring prominently among them. Also slightly less extravagant forms of fear of abandonment, rejection, loneliness etc.
I would like what I need to have courage, trust and faith in the face of conflict (or potential conflict) to present itself to me.
I commit to being curious, mindful and aware.
I would like to commit to being playful with this too, but the fear sits heavy with me which makes that hard.
I think I can commit to allowing myself to hate it and to being afraid of it, for now.
I can also commit to remembering and reminding myself that this is a temporary part of a very long journey, that it won’t always be like this and I won’t always be afraid of it. That I will get to the other side of the river.
I commit to keep on wading, slowly, step-by-step, resting when I need to catch my breath, in faith.
Oh god….. how deep are these asks? Deep. I’ll therefore ask for one last thing.
Thing 3: (to stretch the metaphor, which I do so love to do!) life-jackets, floaties, rafts, rope bridges, lifelines, stepping stones and other things to help me and support me across the river. Swimming lessons. Superpowers. Grace.
Cx
