I'm late on chickening in, again. #iwillgetbetteratthisritualthing
Once again, thanks to Havi for the concepts and tools and quite a bit of the language....
* Operations on my baby
Hard: loooong day, stressful, waiting for them to come and say everything is fine. Now waiting to see results of hearing test to find out what permanent damage might remain.
Good: all appears fine, he pulled up well, seems to be hearing better and no soreness etc. One complicating factor off the table.
* Autism dietary intervention
Hard: what the fuck will he EAT?? How will I get him to eat that stuff he won't touch??
Good: click click click all the pieces go together, I'm sure there is validity to this theory and this approach will make a difference.
Hard: Guilt over crappy pre- and ante-natal nutrition which gave me bad flora mix to start off with and then thrush in the boobies when he was three weeks old which obviously got in his mouth (and all through his gut) and we shared back and forth for FOUR MONTHS before managing to nail it, so no WONDER he has had poor immunity, "failure to thrive", shitty appetite, picky picky picky eater, chronic middle ear crap and autism symptoms.
YES!! It's ALL MY FAULT!!! Gah!!! Why doesn't anybody KNOW about this!???!
AND WHY WASN'T I TOLD??????.... (because western medicine doesn't believe it yet and you weren't a TCM convert back then and even if you were they wouldn't connect it because TC diet is not overladen with sugar, yeast, dairy and wheat and so a structured approach like this doesn't come from that medical tradition it just comes from the surrounding (traditional) culture where people absorb it by osmosis).
Good: Okay we can work on this! Yeastie Beastie killing sprees! Followed by Meat broths! Mushy vegies! Kefir! Reintroduce fruit and texture slowly! No gluten, regular dairy or yeast for a while! Oh dear me, I can do this I can do this I can do this
* An afternoon of FLOW!
Hard: what was the formula for that again? D'oh!! Not finding it again...
Good: OUTPUT!!! Feeling like maybe I'm moderately competent person!
* Conversations
Hard: Yes. They are.
Good: We have them. This is good. We are both SHOWING UP.
Ack.
