Thanks to Havi for the concept, and some of the tools, and a fair bit of the language...
What I would like this week…
1. For my sister in law to start opening to receiving help, even from unexpected places. That my brother and the girls can find what they need during a Very Hard Time. To be clear about my capacity when thinking/talking about how I can help. To be open to the possibility that maybe somehow someday maybe today I will be able to honour my capacity without carrying around truckloads of guilt and judgement about how much more and bigger and more focussed and organised and BETTER my capacity should be. To be open to my capaciy being more than I think it is….
2. To keep up the mindful, conscious self observation and detectivating even through the bits that are uncomfortable. That is, to pause (paws!) when an observation makes me uncomfortable and redirect the enquiry to Why. To write stuff down on paper where I remember it better in the day to day. To keep a meta-map going so I can get back to the point I was pursuing in the first place when the rabbit-holes showed up. Maybe a system of coloured pens because I do so love anything colour coded… #joyofstationery
3. To honour and defend my boundaries around the visual reminders I want to leave myself but I’m afraid will be belittled and derided. To wear my sovereignty crown, ride my lovely sovereignty horse and OWN my kingdom. To be SO freaking sovereign that I can perceive any actions that might otherwise be understood as belittling or deriding as coping techniques of someone who is feeling confused/frightened/?threatened?. To apply compassion in such situations. To have the Pirate Queen’s magic power of that stuff just not even showing up around her after all. That would be nice. To KNOW that my life is my life, to live it up, love it up, and make the most of it… #shivanautical visions of chrysalis? egg? cracking open to rapidly growing and unfurling ??dragon? wings…. Laaahhhrrrrllll.. X
